The Opposite of Logical
by starry-eyes184
Summary: He probably could have happily gone the rest of forever without ever thinking about the words 'sex' and 'Pandora' in the same sentence. But now, as he sits there stiffly, JJ’s quite aware of how very pretty she happens to be.


Disclaimer: Own nothing you recognize.

A/N: Okay, I've been killing myself over this one. I rarely ever write things slowly and over a period of time. Generally I just get an idea, sit down, and get it over with in a period of hours. I post it the next morning, and voila, I'm done. But this one… Ugh, I've been trying so hard to get this out, to get it to go right, and this is all I could manage. I wanted to try a Panda/JJ fic, because I think they're both adorable separately, so I thought I'd see what would happen when I tried to put them together. It's harder than you might think. So anyway, this is what came out, and obviously it's set post-college because that takes care of Thomas nicely for me without having to kill him off or make him break up with Panda or something stupid. Oh, and it's super long, by the way. Sorry about that.

* * *

The Opposite of Logical

JJ's a logical kind of guy.

He likes numbers, facts, math- all the real, tangible, _unchanging_ things in life. They're predictable, they never let him down.

He knows, for instance, that given the most recent data on the world's population, mathematically, he's got nearly no chance of running into anyone from Roundview College here at university, hours away from Effy Stonem and all the trouble she brings with her. And he likes it that way. JJ doesn't believe in happenstance or destiny, or any high power that controls and predetermines an outcome, because that's just not how it works. Everything that happens is a result of a combination of actions, reactions, and numbers. It's science and math, not _fate_.

Which is why he's so in shock when he comes across Pandora Moon, sprawled out on a park bench, dreamy look on her face, as if she'd fallen out of the sky.

"P-P-Pandora?" His stutter is mostly gone these days, but the surprise is enough to bring it back. "W-what are you doing here?"

By here, of course, JJ means lying on the bench, her brightly colored floral skirt ridden half way up her thighs, past midnight on a Thursday, far from wherever she's _supposed_ to be. He doesn't quite remember where that is, because he's never _really_ been friends with her. Her name is written on his wall, back at home, a part of the messy spider web of names and connecting lines and question marks that made up his life. It's written in thick black letters, next to Effy's as 'best friend' and then Thomas' as 'girlfriend', then down to Cook's, where the word 'sex' was written and then crossed out.

There aren't any lines between her name and his, though.

"JJ, is that you? Are you here for the party? Whizzer!" As usual, half of what comes out of her mouth is incomprehensible, and she's got this glazed look about her, but otherwise, she doesn't seem overly surprised to see him there. "They got _loads_ of good weeds there, it's super duper good stuff! I'm going back. I want to find someone to do surf and turf with and then maybe-"

"Pandora," JJ cuts her off before she can spout anymore nonsense, and she stops midsentence, looking up at him with a blank smile. "How did you get here? Are you staying with someone?"

She says something about a bus ticket- at least that's what JJ thinks she's going on about, but her speech is slurred from drugs or alcohol or her usual insanity. Despite this miscommunication, the central theme to her rambling is that she's got nowhere to stay and no way back to Bristol. He sighs, and takes a look around, quietly scanning his brain for any other options than the first one that he'd landed on, the most logical conclusion, but the least appealing. When he comes up with no others- at least no other favorable, reasonable alternatives, he looks back at her. She's twisting her hair into two sloppy plaits, oblivious to the world around her.

"Well, obviously you can't go back to the party," JJ begins, catching her attention. "It's clear that you're inebriated, your judgment appears to be impaired beyond its normal levels- probably from ingestion of some sort of mind-altering chemicals."

"Isn't that kind of the point of weeds and pills? To make you go all silly and feel funny and stuff?" Pandora asks, blinking a bit.

It's a valid point, but JJ says nothing, and instead pulls his arms out of the sleeves of his jacket, holding it out to Pandora. "Let's go."

She takes it, slipping her own bare arms into the warm material, before standing up next to him. "Okay. Where're we going, Jay?"

He sighs and starts to lead her away from the bench. "We're going to my room. You'll stay with me. You can sleep on the floor or I can take the floor and you the bed, if you prefer. It's not ideal, but I doubt you have the money on you for a hotel room, and I'm guessing if I left you here you'd just go back to the party and get yourself into some kind of trouble before the night ends. This is the most logical solution to our problem."

Pandora nods like she agrees, and starts after him, two steps behind and slightly stumbling over her own feet. JJ reaches out behind him and wraps his fingers around her cool wrist, loosely, but enough to help her walk more steadily. She starts to keep up better, but has to lean further on JJ's side for more support. This is most certainly an unfortunate situation. JJ isn't very fond of Pandora. He knows very little about her, but obviously, since most of what he _did_ know was regarding her infidelity and general foolishness, there wasn't much to give him a positive impression of the girl.

She's the exact _opposite_ of everything JJ likes in a person.

Still, though, looking at her, the two messy plaits half-undone, the low cut top, the bloodshot eyes, JJ's quite sure he made the right decision.

-------------

He wakes up well past the usual time. The 8 am alarm clock was never set, JJ realizes, as he stretches languidly in his bed. The sheets are still warm from his body heat, and the pillow's got a dent in it from cradling his head. It's a Friday, and JJ has no morning classes on Fridays, so he simply rolls over, attempting to burrow further.

Something's in his way, though.

Instead of plush, tangled sheets, he hits something solid. It's not hard, or stiff, like the wall, but soft and pliant. JJ lifts one eyelid, still a little dazed from sleep, and his heart nearly jumps into his throat when he sees another person lying next to him. He's not unfamiliar with the experience, but generally, JJ remembers right away when he falls asleep sharing a bed with someone else. It takes a moment to recall that the smooth blond hair spread out on his pillow, unfurled from their plaits, belongs to Pandora Moon.

It's more than likely because JJ never invited her to sleep next to him in the first place. She must have crawled in sometime after he'd fallen asleep. He couldn't really blame her, though, because after all, the floor of his single-room wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to sleep on- not to mention rather bad for the spinal alignment.

Still, at the very least, she could have _asked_.

JJ starts to back up, wriggling away from Pandora's still form, but she just follows, edging her body back up against his, so that their chests are pressed against each other. Pandora fits her head underneath JJ's chin, her nose up against his collar bone, and wraps her arms around him easily. JJ responds by awkwardly resting his hand on her upper arm and gently pushing her backward, in a vain attempt to get some space between them. After all, they're practically strangers, and she's just gone and _nuzzled_ him, like they were friends, or a couple, or intimate relations of some kind. He can smell her, the slight mix of strawberry sugar and alcohol, and its making him redden out of discomfort. Finally, when he's sure he can't take it anymore, he manages to get Pandora to stay on the other side of the mattress, but only because she's started to stir.

"Morning, Jay," she mumbles, mirroring his earlier movements by stretching. She yawns and blinks the leftover sleep from her eyes. There's a look of slight confusion on her face, but nothing that speaks of a hangover. "Did we do surf and turf last night?"

"Do what?" He asks, propping up on his elbow. He wonders what on earth a food combination of seafood and meat has got to do with anything at all. It's just more nonsense, and JJ can't be bothered to pretend to know what it means, at least not at nine thirty in the morning.

"You know, surf and turf. Making monkey, getting whacked up the pants…" She trails off, sitting up. Her hair's half wavy and she's got pink lines in her face from the folds of the pillow. "Like, do sex."

"_What_? Oh, God no, _no_ we didn't- do surf and turf. Or anything like it," JJ sputters, looking at her as if she were crazy. She's running her fingers through her hair, fixing it, and simply shrugs at his horrified expression. "No way, there were no carnal activities occurring here, none, zero, absolutely-"

He's getting stuck, locked on to his _denial_ and all he can think about is how her assumption was so far from what had actually happened it was almost funny. It's like tunnel vision, it's the only thing he can see, or think, and JJ can't _stop_-

Her mouth is sweet, even though neither of them had time to brush their teeth yet.

Dear God, she's just gone and _kissed_ him, without asking, without checking to see if JJ would _like_ to have her pink lips pressed against his. Of course, the answer to that would have been one big, resounding _no_. It's just a quick peck and its over before JJ can even process what it felt like beyond the vague admission that it wasn't _bad_. He's just a little red from shock and anger.

"Pandora! What the hell was that for?" JJ asks, pushing himself onto the very edge of the bed, away from her and her mouth.

She looks at him like he's the crazy one, like he's the one that's just gone and done something totally wrong and out of place. "Oh, well, you got locked on, right, that's what it's called? Well whatever it is, you was acting all bonkers and just saying no and stuff over and over again. Then I remembered something Emily said one time when we was all having a girl's night- me and Eff and Ems and Katie, all paintin' nails and putting on dresses and talking- you know, girly stuff. And then we was talking about the blokes and you came up and she said that when you got all locked on that she flashed you her floppers and you went normal again. But I didn't really want you to see _my_ floppers so I just thought this was _way_ better."

Somehow, JJ's able to understand all of what she just said, even through the unnecessary anecdotes and the _Pandora_ of it all.

Surprisingly, it makes a modicum of sense.

"Oh," he says, because he can't think of anything else. "Okay."

"Whizzer," Pandora responds, climbing over his legs under the blankets. He feels her bare limbs brush against his briefly. She pulls the comforter off her completely, and steps out of the bed sheets. Before heading in the direction of his bathroom, she ruffles his curly hair and JJ's eyes follow the smooth, long white limbs the rest of the way out of the room.

He probably could have happily gone the rest of forever without ever thinking about the words _sex_ and _Pandora_ in the same sentence.

But now, as he sits there stiffly, eyes still trained on the handle to the bathroom door, JJ's quite aware of how very pretty she happens to be.

-----------------

At twelve, he has an engineering class, and he dutifully attends. After all, he'd spent most of the previous night (pre-Pandora) in the library doing research for the physics assignment he was working on, and whether or not there's still a strange blonde female back in his dorm room, in two weeks he was still expected to complete his work in the properly allotted time. But of course, his mind isn't exactly on the subject matter, because he's still trying to rid himself of the vague thoughts about Pandora soft form pressed against his that have suddenly awakened him to the idea of Pandora as anything except a silly unfaithful girl from his college, the best-friend of his best-friend's (whichever one, both applied on separate occasions) girlfriend.

When the class ends, JJ doesn't feel any more enlightened about the subject material.

He heads back to his room, where he hopes to find Pandora ready to leave, because he's quite ready to be rid of her.

Of course, when he opens the door, he finds her completely the _opposite_ of ready.

She's still wearing his pajamas, a pair of loose light blue shorts and a plain black t-shirt (JJ's given up on patterned sleepwear after the whole Emily incident). Her hair is damp, though, a sign that she'd at least made _some_ attempt to get herself out of bed and prepared to leave, to get out of JJ's meticulous, secluded, single bedroom, and _away_ from him where she (and her mouth) belongs. She's sitting cross-legged on his bed, the blankets still pulled off from this morning, and slurping some noodles she must have taken from his fridge.

"Back already?" Pandora calls cheerfully from the bed. "Here, come sit down. You can have some of this if you want, I made a whole bunch."

"No, thank you, I've already eaten. But now that I'm back, we can get you back to… wherever it is you're supposed to be. I've got a listing of the train schedule, just here," JJ says, unpacking his shoulder bag and pulling a shiny pamphlet from the leather interior. He unfurls it, sitting next to her and placing it in her lap, covering up the bare parts of her thighs. Not that he was looking, or anything.

"Oh," is all Pandora manages, noodles comically falling off the end of her fork. She runs a finger down the line of the towns and times, and stops at a two thirty train to some town JJ's never even heard of. "This one," Pandora says, looking up at him. Her face seems to be a few centimeters closer than he remembered, but he doesn't let it bother him. JJ doesn't breathe in her strawberry scent, and doesn't let his eyes stray to her pink mouth, because those things are all signs of physical attraction and emotional attachment.

Being interested romantically in Pandora is utterly illogical, not to mention ridiculous.

"Good, we'll leave as soon as possible," JJ says, shifting so the space between them returns to its proper measurement.

He tries not to feel guilty when he sees the flicker in her eyes.

-----------

Pandora's back in her own clothes, except for JJ's jacket, which she's apparently decided to take as her own.

She's still wearing it, the front buttoned up, and her floral skirt pushed down to its proper length. She looks normal (at least as normal as she gets), as opposed to her drunken appearance last night, which gives JJ a sense of satisfaction and gallantry, as if he'd done something good and right by rescuing her off the streets. They're at the train station, sitting on another bench, but this time they'll be going their separate ways, as it's supposed to be. They left early, and JJ had intended on helping Pandora purchase her ticket and hightailing it out of there, but somehow she'd manipulated him into waiting with her.

"Hey, Jay?" Pandora begins, her head leaned back. She's staring wide-eyed at the high-vaulted ceiling of the station, for no apparent reason. JJ followed her gaze earlier, but found nothing particularly interesting about it, and went back to looking at the world head-on.

"What is it, Pandora?" He asks, turning to look at her from the side. Her pale neck is extended nicely, and he can see the muscles move when she speaks.

"How come we ain't friends?"

The question surprises JJ, to say the least, because based on all her previous behavior, he'd assumed she was operating under the false assumption that they were indeed friends. He stares as she slowly arcs her neck back up, straightening into a fully upright position, looking directly at him.

"I mean, Eff's my best friend, right? And Freddie and Cookie are your best friends. And Eff and Freddie and Cookie are… well, I don't know what they are, but, shouldn't that mean we're friends, too?" Big blue eyes, lighter than his own, scan his face, and it's the first time JJ doesn't find them totally empty of thought. Following that line of thinking, he couldn't really think of any reason they shouldn't be friends, either.

But there was no question Pandora's logic was flawed, though, even if JJ did admit she'd had some kind of insight.

"Well, taking into account your personality, and my personality, and the fact that neither of us has ever really spent any time one-on-one, excepting, of course, this weekend, it's actually quite obvious why we're not friends," he rattles off, ticking off each point on his hand, extending three fingers.

Before he can get into the intricacies of the psychology behind it all, their uncomplimentary personalities, and his own negative opinion of some of her past actions, Pandora interrupts. She reaches out with a hand, formerly braced on the wood of the bench. She twirls three of her fingers with the one's he's holding out, in some sort of half-hand holding twisted mess. When he looks at her face, her gaze is directed down at their tangled hands, thoughtful, pink lips pressed together.

JJ's Adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly.

"Don't you like me, Jay?" Pandora says, her voice low and questioning. She looks up from their hands, eyes slightly shaded by the line of lashes along the upper lid.

JJ wants to say no.

He wants to tell her that he thinks she's naïve, and some of the things she does, enjoys, thinks are all absolutely moronic, not to mention illogical. He wants to say that if he were Thomas at the love ball, he wouldn't have taken her back, he wouldn't have given her a second chance, because she'd royally screwed things up by sleeping with Cook. He doesn't say any of these things, though.

"Yes, well, you're alright, even if you're a little odd, and you make rather bad decisions. You smell like strawberry jelly."

It's the exact _opposite_ of what he'd wanted to say. It hangs in the air, and JJ feels frozen up, like someone's been messing with his insides somehow. But that's clearly an impossibility. His face is red, and maybe he admits that its Pandora's doing, because even if she is all the bad things he's ever thought about her, it seems that she's a lot of good things, too. She's nice, and cute, and sometimes the things she says aren't totally insane.

And alright, maybe he'll admit she's physically attractive, too.

Pandora, of course, is oblivious to the fact that JJ's been wrestling with his thoughts, all surrounding her, and simply goes right back to acting like her usual self.

"Really? Jelly?" She asks, lifting her shirt and sniffing. "Whizzer! So, we're friends now, right?"

JJ sighs, and looks her over one more time.

"We're friends."

Pandora inexplicably leans forward, still smiling, and presses her mouth against his. It's a little longer than their first kiss, with a lot more teeth. Some of her blond hair has gotten caught between their mouths, and stuck in her lip gloss. JJ doesn't pull away, and he doesn't push for more, and it's a very nice kiss. It lasts enough for him to finally name the sweet flavor on her mouth. It's strawberry jelly, just as she smells, with a vague hint of mint.

He licks the taste off his lips, as he watches her board the train.

------------

When he goes back to his room, JJ owns one less jacket, and has one more friend (maybe more).

He's still having trouble wrapping his mind around it, because Pandora Moon isn't at all the kind of person he likes to be around, normally. On the way, as he walks across campus, JJ tries to make sense of it all. How the whole weekend she'd turned from a simple burden into a figure he wouldn't mind spending time with more regularly. There isn't any specific moment. It wasn't when he saw her on that bench, or when he woke up next to her. It wasn't the first kiss, or the second, or watching her wave enthusiastically from the window of the train.

It had somehow come to be, in the background, naturally, as if it were simply meant to happen.

It's the exact opposite of logical, but JJ wonders if maybe fate hadn't had something to do with it.

* * *

A/N: FINALLY I'M DONE!!! Okay it didn't pan out as nicely as I would have liked. Even if Ollie/Lisa take adorable pictures together, and each of the characters they play is sweet and cute in their own way, I'm not thinking Panda/JJ is going to happen any time soon. But I gave it a shot, which is more than some people can say. I know throughout JJ seemed formal, and sort of snobby towards Panda, who seemed a little stupid, but they're both rather hard characters to grasp alone, let alone together. As usual, please review!


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